The Purpose Of Your 20s Can Be Explained With The Ladders Of Life
A Life Lesson I Am Learning In My 20s
As I am heading towards 30 (shy of two and half years), I can't help but look back at my 20s.
One of the prime questions this introspection brings forward is - What is the purpose of my 20s?
Looking at my life and that of the people around me, I found the answer in ladders.
The Two Ladders
The threshold to our 20s is a crucial one.
This is the first time you'll be making your own decision. You have the choice as to which move to make. You may have come into this life 20 years ago, but now you're going to, in reality, live your life.
Now there are two ways of going about it.
Let's call the first ladder Tried, Tested and Approved.
This ladder is used by 90% of the human population.
The first rung - you finish your school.
The second rung - you graduate.
The third rung - you get a job.
The fourth rung - you get married.
The fifth rung - you get a house.
... and so on. You get the idea.
The Tried, Tested and Approved ladder has been standing against the brick wall called Life for centuries. Since it is tried, tested and approved, it is said to be safe enough to climb this ladder. Consciously or unconsciously, willingly or unwillingly, we may choose to go up this ladder.
The problem arises when we climb this ladder and realise we are on the wrong one.
Many a time, people go up the Tried, Tested and Approved ladder and realise one of the following:
they hate this ladder
the ladder didn't turn out to be as safe and comfortable as it had initially advertised
they never realised they climbed up this ladder
they were forced up this ladder and now are looking for a way out
they have been forced up this ladder, and now they don't know how to do with themselves
this wasn't their ladder in the first place
they have learnt what they could from this ladder and want to climb up a different one
they were so busy climbing this ladder that they lost themselves
These problems arise when you climb the ladder even without considering if that's the way you want to go.
Then we have the second ladder. This one is called Build Your Own.
This one's the uncertain one, the risky one. This is the one that requires hard work, persistence, consistency and, most important of all, patience.
And that's because you have to build this ladder.
When you face this brick wall, you will notice you already have a few materials to start building your ladder. The rest of the materials, Life will give you all of them as you go along.
Now since the first 20 years of your life, you have never built a ladder, so be kind to yourself because you will make mistakes and even hurt yourself. But since you have this dream to sit on top of this brick wall, you will get back to work as soon as you can.
Now while you build this ladder, the ones going up the Tried, Tested and Approved ladder will be a continuous source of annoyance.
They'll worry that you're being left behind.
They'll call you foolish for working so hard when you could achieve all you want on the Tried, Tested and Approved ladder.
They'll question you and our beliefs. They'll poison your mind. They do this (on purpose or not) because they see what you're doing is much more fun than just climbing up ready-made ladders.
They will not understand that you have already realised what's up with the Tried, Tested and Approved ladder. You know that you want to do something different, be someone different. And so you start building your own ladder.
The Inevitable
There is another thing that the group going up the Tried, Tested and Approved ladder doesn't know. Eventually, they will have to build their own ladder.
We humans are unique and similar at the same time. Usually, our end goals are the same - happiness, comfortable life, a loving family, freedom - but our way of going about it can be different. So we all have the potential to build our own ladders.
Now in your 20s, you have the physical, mental, and emotional stamina to do the hard work. You are just beginning your life and have no weighty responsibilities to hold you back. It will take about 10 years of continuous effort to perfect your ladder.
But if you get to your 40s, 50s, and 60s and realise you need to build your own ladder, it might be harder to work at. Your physical, mental, and emotional stamina is on the decline because the Tried, Tested and Approved ladder has dulled you. Your accumulated responsibilities from all those years are dragging you back. And whether you like it or not, your mortal end is near.
The Purpose Of Your 20s
... is not to fall into the trap of the Tried, Tested and Approved ladder, and Build Your Own.
Even if you want the things on the Tried, Tested and Approved ladder, you don't need to climb that ladder. That's been made by someone else, according to their own perception. What that person had in mind may differ from what you feel about life.
You can have everything from the Tried, Tested and Approved ladder but according to your wish and at your desired pace. All you have to do is Build Your Own ladder.
Yes, it can be lonely to Build Your Own ladder.
Yes, it can be scary too.
But at least you'll be working on something your heart desires, not what society prescribed you.
So figure out what you want your ladder to look like and start building it with whatever material you have handy.
"The only failure in your 20s is inaction. The rest is trial and error."
