Taking The Leap Of Faith.

Becoming A Writer

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Taking The Leap Of Faith.

Episode 1 of Becoming A Writer podcast.

Rubina G Gomes

Mar 06, 2024

Transcript

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Hello, my writer friends! Rubina here. For our first conversation, we are going to talk about taking the leap of faith.

Out of all the poems I have read in my 17 years of education, the only three sentences I remember are the following -

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I —

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

I don't know what it was about this poem called The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost that struck a chord with me as a child and still plays like a song inside me. I understood what Mr. Frost was trying to say at an emotional, even spiritual, level. However, I had yet to physically and mentally reach the two roads diverged in a yellow wood.

In August 2021, I found myself pacing in my room. My agitation made my head spin, but I couldn't stop pacing. I had just finished writing my first essay, and all that was left was to hit publish. But I was too nervous to do it. And rightfully so, as this was the first time I was going to share my words with the people on the Internet.

The tug of war between wanting to go for it and back out was so strong that I was having a hard time deciding which way to go.

That's when a voice inside me spoke out loud -

I am done sitting on my butt. I am done taking advice. I am done learning without actually putting it to use. I am done being scared.

I am done saying, "I want to be a writer."

Now I want to say, that too with proof, that "I am a writer."

I am taking the leap.

I agreed with that voice, rushed back to my seat and hit publish.

I have wanted to become a writer since 2014. Then what was stopping me?

Well…

there was graduation, which I had lost interest in but still had to get out of my way
unexpected life events like the sudden loss of my 25-year-old cousin brother
a part of my childhood I needed to heal
and the depression I faced because of it in 2014
my confused reproductive system
fear of failure, judgement, not knowing enough
fear of disappointing my mother and loved ones
distracting myself with things that gave me instant gratification
being influenced to think I need to follow trends and click-bait others
the constant thought of "who am I to do this?"
crappy first drafts! (Why can't I get it right on the first try?)
the general reasoning that a creative career is more unstable and uncertain than the typical, usual career (spoiler alert- that's not the case anymore)
the "starving artist" tag
and waiting for the "right time."

But then I realised that all these obstacles will still exist no matter which road I took. They'll be a part of my life every day. There is no use in stressing over these. I need to get started on the path I want to walk. The car won't move forward until I turn the key, put it in gear, and push the accelerator. We will never know what we are capable of or can achieve until we try it.

Now, we come to December 2023.

This time, instead of pacing, I am lying on my bed and staring into oblivion. My head was swirling with so many ideas that to say that I was overwhelmed would be to put it lightly.

"I have to get this out of my head," I say. I reach my desk and start a new word document titled Podcast Plan 2024.

Again, I had reached the two roads diverged in the yellow wood. This time, I knew about this upcoming divergence for over a year. I knew I wanted to eventually start a podcast but didn't know how, when, or about what. But it was getting clearer and coming into view with each passing day. And now I stood at a place where there was no denying and no going back. I knew I had to give podcasting a shot.

I am scared. I am nervous. I am excited, too. I will not let any of my fears stop me anymore. I will do it because I know my intuition is guiding me towards it like it has been doing since the summer of 2014. Taking the leap of faith has always been fruitful for me, so I will do it again.

So…

Hello, listeners of my podcast.

My name is Rubina, and I hope we become writer friends.

Next time we meet, we'll talk about what is our number one job as a writer.

Until then, keep writing, my friend.