Sorry Ego, I Am Embracing The Change And Pivoting.

Drop in engagement on my Medium page is making me adjust my creative sails.

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If you do not change, you can become extinct.
- Dr. Spencer Johnson, Who Moved My Cheese?

Have you read Who Moved My Cheese? by Dr. Spencer Johnson?

It was one of the first self-help books I have read and it was the best book to start my self-help journey with. The theme of the book is - Change is inevitable, so we might as well become friends with it.

The book has four characters - two mice named Sniff and Scurry, and two little humans named Hem and Haw.

Sniff and Scurry are proactive and simple-minded mice. They use their instincts to search for cheese and quickly adapt to changes in their environment.

Hem and Haw are the little humans who are more complex as humans generally are. They rely on their intelligence and emotions in their quest for cheese.

In the beginning, all four of them enjoyed a large stash of cheese at Cheese Station C. They became comfortable and developed routines around their cheese supply.

Over time, the cheese supply dwindles, but Sniff and Scurry remain vigilant. They notice the change early and prepare themselves to find new cheese. Hem and Haw, however, are complacent and fail to see the gradual decline. When the cheese finally runs out, Sniff and Scurry immediately set out into the maze to find new cheese, while Hem and Haw are shocked and upset.

Hem refuses to leave Cheese Station C, believing that the cheese will return. He becomes angry and frustrated, blaming others for his predicament. Haw, initially reluctant to venture into the maze, starts to question his own beliefs and fears. He realises that clinging to the past is not helping him and begins to entertain the idea of finding new cheese.

Haw's journey through the maze is a series of realisations and gradual transformations. He overcomes his fear of the unknown and starts to enjoy the adventure. Along the way, he leaves messages on the walls of the maze to help Hem if he decides to follow. Some of Haw's messages include:

• "If you do not change, you can become extinct."

• "What would you do if you weren't afraid?"

• "The quicker you let go of old cheese, the sooner you find new cheese."

As Haw progresses, he discovers small bits of new cheese, which boosts his confidence and reinforces his decision to embrace change. Eventually, Haw finds a new cheese station, Cheese Station N, which has an abundant supply of cheese.

In the end, Sniff and Scurry have already been enjoying the new cheese at Cheese Station N, showing the advantages of anticipating and adapting to change quickly. Haw reflects on the lessons he learnt during his journey, recognising the importance of being open to change and staying adaptable. He also hopes that Hem will eventually read the messages he left behind and decide to venture into the maze.

In my case, I was Haw and a bit of Sniff and Scurry for the first half of this year.

In December of 2023, I noticed the performance of my essays (on Medium) falling a bit low. It's the festive season, I thought, remember it happened last year as well? That was true, I realised. Readers are busy celebrating the back-to-back festivals and the end of the year with their family and friends. It makes sense for them not to be able to get any reading done. But then as 2024 came in and the months went by, things were getting worse. By March, I was genuinely worried and frustrated as to why there was a sudden drop in views and followers. When I compared the analytics to the previous years, what I feared was confirmed - Medium is not working, at least for me, anymore.

On the other hand, in March, I launched my podcast. I assumed that since it's a new podcast from a relatively unknown person like me, it would take some time to grow. Now, I don't know how well the podcast is doing compared to others (neither am I thinking about that), but I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was doing better than I expected. I even got evidence to understand that podcasting has potential.

So, on one hand, I have an old medium that's on a ventilator, and then I found a new medium that looks promising. The choice was becoming obvious.

And to this, my personal frustration towards content creation and social media of all sorts. Like many artists I have been noticing online, I, too, was tired of the whipping of the Algorithm ringmaster.

The constant running on the hamster wheel. The constant forcing my creativity to perform a certain way to please the master. The constant working on less-fulfilling writing (creating content) instead of what my heart truly desires (writing books). I could feel my creative self feeling sadder and shrinking smaller with each passing day.

By mid-April, I couldn't take it anymore, so I took the rest of the month off—first to rest and recover, then to figure out what to do next. The recovery and introspection took more time than I thought they would, but I did find some clarity.

It's time to change things up and pivot.

I am learning these days that life is not lived in the familiar and comfortable. Most of the fun is in the unknown. Scary, for sure, but fun and rewarding too. The same applies to my writing life.

Trying to use rational thinking to keep me in the comfort zone of posting on Medium in the hopes that it will finally show me some positive results would be acting like Hem waiting for the cheese to return. I need to be like Haw—trust my gut and go where it leads me.

When I think about it, this is not the first time I have had to change and pivot. Earlier, life chose change for me, but this time, like Scurry and Sniff, I was aware enough and experienced enough to notice the situation changing. So, this time, I get to make that choice. And that's what I am doing.

To ensure I continue to love and engage in my writing journey wholeheartedly and evolve into the writer I want to be, I am shutting down my Medium page. Sorry, Medium, it's not working between us anymore. Only my Substack and podcast will continue to aid me in my writing endeavour.

I am also changing my essay and episode schedules to twice monthly. I'll now post my essays on writing and creative life on the first and third Wednesdays, and I'll post new episodes of my podcast on the same topic on the second and fourth Saturdays.

Doing so will help me get off the hamster wheel and enjoy my work while also making space for rest, recovery, and work on other projects (a.k.a. books!).

One of the reasons I burn out so quickly is because I don't take breaks and take too much on my creative plate. Everything seems more important and urgent than what I need at that moment, so I inevitably keep hustling and grinding. This year made me realise that I HAVE to take some time off to recharge my creative batteries. I already reduced the amount of work I'll do. Now, starting this year, I'll be taking a break every April, August and December as well, guilt-free.

My ego is having a tough time accepting this. According to it, if I don't work every single day with the same intensity and post online about my work, am I even doing any productive work? My ego won't accept that I am a human who has emotions and things that are not in my control. That sometimes I need to act defence to life's swings at me. According to my ego, if I am not acting offence 24x7, I am weak. I don't have it in me.

Well, I am sad for my ego because I am not buying that anymore.

Ask yourself, writers and creatives - is there any aspect in your creative life that you need to let go of? Letting go is hard, but you have to realise that sometimes it's the best decision to make at the moment. And letting go by choice is a much better space to be in than circumstances snatching it out of your hands.

Yes, the chances might bring some unfavourable results, like lower reach. But I'd rather have that than see my creativity slowly suffocate to death at the hands of the algorithm.

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