So You Think You Can Have Balanced Life? Think Again
Fifth Of The Six Lies That Stand Between You And Your Success
"Nothing ever achieves absolute balance."
We might look at our successful friends and think they have it all - a balanced life. But it's not. They are doing something completely different.
We think that having a balanced life is a goal. It's not. It's an action we have to constantly and consistently commit to.
"...what appears to be a state of balance is something entirely different - an act of balancing."
Having a balanced life is an ideal state to be in.
We hope that we can do our 9-to-5, commit to that side hustle, take care of our family, grab dinner with friends, get in our exercise, and get a good night's sleep.
But if you have ever tried to do it all, you must have seen that it never happens. That's because you CANNOT do it all. "Time on one thing means time away from another. This makes balance impossible."
So why do we desire balance?
Because we want "enough time for everything and everything done in time".
This sounds appealing to have a work-life balance. A state we think will finally bring us peace. But it's not real.
The Solution? Counterbalancing
There are two halves of your daily life - your personal life and your work life.
When we say we want a work-life balance, we mean that both our work life and personal life are prospering.
But what actually ends up happening is one half gets picked over the other.
For example, you spend your whole day playing video games. Therefore your boss is dissatisfied with your work.
On the other hand, you spend your whole day sitting at the computer, working on the project, therefore throwing your health out the window.
"The idea of counterbalancing is that you never go so far that you can't find your way back or stay so long that there is nothing waiting for you when you return."
There are two types of counterbalancing:
the balancing between your personal life and work-life, and
the balancing within each of them
When it comes to your work life, you have to decide what matters the most and give it all the time it demands. This means other work issues will go out of balance.
To tackle it all, make sure your most important task gets most of your time and energy, while other work issues will have to do with what's left.
For example, my most important task is writing. That gets my attention, mind, focus, time and energy first. Once I am done with that, other work matters such as checking email, creating social media content, etc., get whatever time and energy is left for the day.
When it comes to your personal life, you need to have a tighter grip here.
Your mind, body & spirit, family and friends, and personal needs - you can't sacrifice any of them if you want to have an abundant life. You will need to move back and forth between them, but you can't neglect any one of them for long. If you do, they won't be there for you anymore.
For example, I make it a point to have my breakfast with my mother. I also make sure we spend some time talking and watching TV together in the evening. Also, since the nature of my work requires me to sit and stare at a screen a lot, I make sure I take a break every 30 minutes and give my eyes and bum some rest.
"In your personal life, go short and avoid long periods where you're out of balance."
"In your professional life, go long and make peace with the idea that the pursuit of extraordinary results may require you to be out of balance for long periods."
Life Is A Balancing Act
It's not a question of how you balance your life. The question is what requires more priority over others.
When you work from the priority perspective, one thing will obviously get more attention than the other.
Therefore, you need to be clear about your priorities - both at work and in life.
When you're working on your work commenting, give it your full attention so you can get it done.
Then when you're with your family and friends, or with yourself, focus on that and nothing else.
That's how you have a balanced life.
"When you gamble with your time, you may be placing a bet you can't cover. Even if you're sure you can win, be careful that you can live with what you lose."
(I recommend reading The One Thing by Gary Keller with Jay Papasan which inspired this article.)
You might also want to read -
The Six Lies That Stand Between You And Your Success
So You Think Everything Matters Equally? Think Again
So You Think You Can Multitask? Think Again
So You Think You Can Have A Disciplined Life? Think Again
So You Think You Have Willpower On Speed-Dial? Think Again
So You Think Going Big Will Hurt You? Think Again