My Two Best Friends Are Drifting Away From Me.
Maybe That's What It Means To Be An Adult.
Author Note:
Rubina's Bojra will be on a break from 17th to 29th April 2023.
Regular posting will be back on 30th April 2023, Sunday.
My two best friends and I are in our late-20s now. And we have reached a phase of life where I can feel them drifting away.
I don't know if they are conscious of this or not. They know on the surface level that we are not able to give each other time as we used to before. But since I am an empath/intuitive/INFJ, I notice the subtle, undercurrent shifts in life that goes deeper than the surface before other people.
One friend recently got married.
I had the privilege of attending her wedding and seeing her transition from a girl to a woman. Our life together in school flashed before my eyes while the ceremony was taking place, making me cry (I did not see that coming) and realise we have come so far. Her getting married made me realise that we are officially grown-ups now.
Before her marriage, we used to talk every weekend and for about 6-8 hours per month (yes, I keep track). Now, we barely speak twice a month for about an hour in every call.
But I am not disappointed about that. When preparations for her wedding began, I knew I would get pushed down her priority list, not because I don't matter anymore, but because she needs to give her attention to a more important place - her new family.
So with her old family and new family and a toxic work environment to manage, she has a lot on her plate.
But what makes me happy is that we are doing our best to keep the flame of our friendship burning. For months now, every morning, we take turns sending each other our favourite songs from our childhood. Not only does this ritual bring us nostalgia, but it also ensures we are constantly in touch with each other.
My other best friend is busy discovering himself.
For years, he didn't know who he was. But for the past couple of years, he has been discovering himself with the help of therapy and self-analysis. He is studying who he is, understanding himself and how he functions in the world.
He is busy healing his childhood trauma. He is busy embracing his sexuality. He is busy learning to stay true to himself while also existing in an environment that continuously wants him to be someone else. He is busy shaping his career. He is busy taking care of his family. He is busy following his curiosities. He is busy trying to take care of himself.
He, too, has a lot on his plate. And I want to be the last person to add more to it by asking him to meet me every weekend.
But what makes me happy is that we still have our spark sparkling. He is the only person in my life so far I have a telepathic connection with. We might not even know until later that we are doing or thinking about, or facing the same thing around the same time. When we do get the chance to catch up, we spend hours talking - figuring out life and all that is in it - and still we feel we left out something. We are so much in sync and understand each other so well that if he wasn't gay, I would have married him long ago.
And I am busy too.
Not the "busy for the sake of being busy" kind, but the "craving my own path in the world" kind of busy.
All my focus right now is on my writing career and my health.
The dream of becoming a writer grew inside me, and it's up to me to take care of it and make sure it thrives. I never had a day job (I know I am not made for one), so I have to create my own day job. And also parallel to it, should go on my novel writing. All this takes time and energy.
With my health - I am busy caring for its physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs. It took me years to find a way to care for my body that works for me. With mental health, I am busy reprogramming myself and getting rid of the matrix that's already in my system. Emotionally, I am learning to be the adult my inner child needs to live a happy life. Spiritually, I am learning to connect with the Unknown for guidance and wisdom.
So, my plate's full too.
But what makes me happy is that no matter how busy we are, we think of each other and are always there for each other. And we are just a phone call away.
I am learning from this whole experience that maybe, this is what it means to be an adult.
Each of us is on our individual paths to becoming adults and figuring things out. And this is a necessary phase to be in. Because once we figure all this out (or at least to some extent), we will become more of ourselves and bring these evolved, upgraded versions of us to the table.
So, yes, my two best friends are drifting away from me. And that's okay. Because we will always have each other's back, and when we join forces again, we will have a blast.
