If You're Not Having Fun, You're Missing Out On Life.
Stay Curious And Be Ok.
You can be childlike without being childish. A child always wants to have fun. Ask yourself, 'Am I having fun?'
- Christopher Meloni
A massive shift came in me when I stopped taking things seriously.
Now, this is a hard thing for me to do. I am a Capricorn, an empath and an INFJ. Taking things seriously and going deep into finding their meaning is in my DNA.
But going deep all the time and for everything - plus the pandemic wasn't helping - triggered my anxiety.
It wasn't until late October this year when I realised that being serious wasn't helping me. It didn't help me write my essays. It didn't help me be present with my family. It didn't help me be happy as I am. And my worrying about the pandemic didn't make it go away.
I needed to loosen up a bit.
My "Have More Fun" mission was executed in three phases. And, mind you, this execution had subconsciously.
Phase One: Writing
I just dived deep into my writing career. I am at the phase where I am shoving coal into the engine to keep the train running on the tracks.
In the beginning, I was too worried about things like - what I would write about, how can I serve the readers, how can I make a career out of it, the stats and metrics. You get the drift.
Since initiating Mission Have-More-Fun, I chalk out the ideas I would like to write about, but I let it do its thing. I am a pantser (something I learnt about myself this year), so I just let the idea take me where it wants to go.
I don't look at the stats and metrics. I don't think that every article I write has the perfect and best writing. And I make sure I don't overwork in a day and get some time to chill.
I want to be a writer, and I want to have fun doing it.
Which means I can't force it. I have to let it play.
Always work hard and have fun in what you do because I think that's when you're more successful. You have to choose to do it.
- Simone Biles
Phase Two: The Outside
Here's what I learnt-
No amount of my worrying about the people, situation and world around me will make them better.
If I can do something about it, I should get into action.
But if I can't do anything about it, then there's no use letting those thoughts rent out space in my head.
The solution I came across for this problem is to take everything as it is.
Whether you feel good or bad about whatever the thing is, if you can't do anything about it or if it's not your priority, just let it go.
Stuck in traffic? It is what it is.
You can better enjoy it by listening to your favourite songs, instead of worrying you're late to work. Worrying won't make your car fly to your workplace. All you can do is make sure you leave earlier the next day.
Is your friend spiralling in negativity? It is what it is.
Try to make them see the bright side. But even after three tries, nothing changes; leave them as they are. Tune yourself out of their negativity or restrict your time with them. If your friend is the understanding kind, let them know how their negativity affects you, and see if you two can find a middle ground.
The pandemic hampering your life? It is what it is.
Try to find ways to still enjoy life while stuck at home. Reignite your old hobbies, try out that side hustle, attack those books that have been sitting on your shelf for ages.
Phase Three: The Inside
This phase is all about being kind to myself.
I wouldn't scream and shame my friend into doing or not doing something. So I shouldn't do that to myself as well.
Not everything and everyone goes according to the plan. And I have to be okay with it.
Being angry about things that are not in our control will not correct them.
Again, it is what it is. I have to move on.
So if there are days I couldn't get my exercise in, it's okay.
I know how important exercise is to me, so if I missed it means I genuinely didn't have the time or energy (or both) to do it.
If I didn't get the time to write, it's okay. I know I am in a headspace that is not the best for any writing to happen. So it's okay to miss some days. I know I will come back to it when I am ready.
The Keys To Having Fun
Having fun doesn't always have to mean doing a particular fun activity.
Having fun means enjoying whatever you're doing.
Be it sleeping, drinking coffee, reading a book, hiking, partying with your friends, or working on your job.
Every aspect of our lives has fun in them. We have to find them. And if you're not having fun, then you're not living a life.
There are three keys to having fun -
Your WHY: Being clear on why you're doing (or not doing) something helps you stay away from any other noise that can distract you from your path.
Stay curious, not serious: Don't let everything be written in stone. See where life takes you and adjust your sail accordingly.
Be okay with whatever the situation: Whether it's good or bad, all you can do is accept it. Once you do that, you'll have new wisdom which will help you prepare for your future experiences.
With the Holiday season upon us, I have to be honest and say I am a little stressed.
My calendar is full of birthdays, celebrations, shopping, baking, cleaning, writing, tying up some loose ends, reviewing 2021, chalking out 2022.
I fear that I may not be able to stick to my publishing schedule. But again, I am not taking it too seriously.
I'll do my best to stick with it, but if I am not able to - it's okay. That is what I am supposed to do.
I will say the same to you.
Do all you need to do during this time of the year. But don't forget to take care of yourself and have fun.
Because if you didn't have fun, you'd be wasting this fantastic time.
My philosophy is: If you can't have fun, there's no sense in doing it.
- Paul Walker
Thanks for reading Rubina’s Bojra by Rubina Gauri Gomes! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.