I Took A Gap Year 6 Years Ago To Become A Writer. Here Are 6 Lessons I Learnt Since Then.
Leap of Faith: Part 2 of 4
Education and Learning
Let me be straightforward here. The school does not prepare you for your life.
Other than the primary class education, I can’t see what I learned in our education system that applies to my life right now.
The school doesn’t teach us time management, energy management, mental health, primary physical health care, money management, social skills, and being in harmony in nature.
What the school does teach us is how our self-worth is tied to what grades we get and the paycheck we receive.
Our current education system doesn’t support and encourage curiosity and creativity.
I remember how much I loved to spend my time in the basketball ground, the craft room and the library. But the only chance I got to indulge in those was once a week. And if there’s some teacher who needs an extra period to finish her course, guess which ones she stole from?
Schools (and everyone) believe that any form of art — music, dance, writing, painting, acting, sports — must be indulged when you have “free time.”
All my schools and college cared for was that everyone passes. No matter how. No matter if we genuinely learnt something or not. The students were just a tick in their box they were itching to mark.
(There are exceptions to this case. I was blessed with a handful of teachers who genuinely wanted us to teach well and prepare us for life. And they tried their best to do so. But since the system is corrupted, there was only so much they could do.)
From my schools and college, I learned that self-education is the best education.
If you have the primary education of reading and writing, self-education will reward you for life. I have learnt more about life and myself in these six years than I had in the past 21 years combined.
Books, videos, interviews, experiences, talking to elders, talking to friends, sitting and observing others, sitting with myself, journaling, and practising my craft in public. These have taught me more about what life is like than sitting in a classroom furiously writing notes.
The Rat Race
Thankfully, I didn’t give in to the peer pressure and societal norm of getting a job right after college. It would have been like jumping into gushing waters without a lifejacket or knowledge of swimming.
When I asked my classmates about what they were looking for in their jobs, the answer — directly or indirectly — was income. “I need income to take care of my expenses,” one said.
While I understand the need for income, I never liked the idea of money being the first/sole reason for getting a job.
So I stood by the road and let my friends participate in the rat race. I wasn’t there to cheer them. I was there to see what it was all about and was it a party worth my jumping into.
In these past six years, I have noticed that the people who joined the rat race, all ambitious to reach new heights, were running in circles. Walking in the safety and comfort of the tried and tested routes, they lost their meaning and joy of life to keep up with the pretence that all are good, happy and flourishing in their life.
On the other hand, according to society’s definition, I don’t look good, happy, or flourishing. (No “real” job, no income, no boyfriend/husband, no house, no car, no exotic vacations, and still living with and with the support of my family.)
But, I haven’t been this happy, satisfied, clear and flourishing with myself before my leap of faith.
In creating my own path, I decide on the views and landmarks. I get to determine the pace. I get to choose the place for work and the place for play.
Sure it’s hard work to pave your own path. A lot of blood, sweat and tears go into it. But buying that latest model of iPhone just because it’s trendy could never give me the satisfaction I get when I see the views my path offers me.
Discovering Myself
I took the gap year to focus on my writing. But instead, what I did during the first four years was discover myself.
We are moulded according to our elders’ and school’s values, beliefs, and mindsets when we are children. But when we enter life after graduation, when we finally start to live on our own as adults, we realize that our elders’ and school’s values, beliefs, and mindsets are not our own.
At first, it happened by accident that I realized that I don’t agree with everything I have been taught to believe as truth. I felt lost and didn’t know what to believe.
What helped me through this phase was reading books.
The Alchemist. The Four Agreements. THISday. The Subtle Art Of Not Giving An F*ck. Big Magic. Kane And Abel. The Godfather. As A Man Thinketh. Bird by Bird. Writing Down Bones. On Writing. Who Moved My Cheese? The Laws Of Human Nature.
This is just the tip of the iceberg.
Even life experiences of losing a loved one, my bout with depression, my love-hate relationship with my body, and the unforgettable pandemic helped me discover parts of me I never knew were in there.
These lessons have helped me form my own values, beliefs, and mindsets. This will act as a foundation for my life.
Our 20s are the perfect time to figure ourselves out before tying ourselves down to the different society anchors. Figure out who you are before life draws an image of you of their own liking. And better to do it alone. Then you only have yourself to take care of and no other responsibilities.
Understanding first who you are is the key that will help you understand your place in the world and the world’s place in your life. Figure out who you are before circumstances give you an identity crisis.
Patrons
When you are on a path that requires you to be on your own, you need support. You need patrons.
Usually, when we think of patrons, we think of people who can support us financially to pursue our creative endeavours. But it’s not just the financial support we require.
We need people to emotionally and physically motivate us towards our goals. This is where family, friends and supporters come into the picture.
Living with my family means getting a roof over my head and food on my plate. My mother also acts as my sounding board. She is also the shoulder I cry on. She is also my silly entertainer. Then there’s my brother, who makes sure the family is running comfortably. My family’s support lets me freely go after my dreams.
When it comes to friends, one is my therapist, editor and fellow Capricorn. One keeps me updated with what’s happening outside. And there are a couple more with whom I talk regularly and lighten my mental load.
Supporters are the readers — you — who take precious time from your day to read my work and give me feedback. Negative feedback helps me learn to better my craft. Positive feedback keeps me motivated to keep writing.
But you, who is the most important patron you’ll ever have? It’s the person staring back at you in the mirror.
You are your most important patron. The belief, love, acceptance, and motivation you have for yourself will match no other. And it is necessary to take care of this patron because when all the other patrons fail you, You will never leave your side.
The Artist Me
In taking the time and space to discover me and what life holds for me, I inevitably found my artist self.
This is who I am at my core. A writer.
Usually, when someone wants to become a writer, they already have a life — family, job, social life — and then squeeze in writing somewhere there. Now I know, because of all the introspection, it’s the other way for me.
I am a writer first. Then the rest of the life comes in. I can maybe live without some aspects of life, but I cannot stop being a writer.
Whoever comes into my life, they and I must never forget that my words — both reading and writing — come first. As a creative, I also have obsessions that regular people might find weird. The rest have to adjust around it. I am not for everybody, and neither is everyone for me.
This may sound selfish. Maybe it is. But I know I am most helpful when writing my words and talking my words. I am more helpful when obsessing over things that light me up.
I don’t take being a writer lightly.
I know from experience that books and words have the power to make or break our lives. I am forever grateful for the books helping me make the life of my dreams come true. And I want to repay in the same way. Be it my fiction or non-fiction works, I want to share the best words I have and hope it helps someone out there.
Never Abandon Your Dream
There was a phase during the initial months of my gap year where I felt guilty for not working a job to earn some income. I felt guilty for not being able to contribute to the family’s upkeep.
(I still do, but I realize that the family’s upkeep is not just in the financial support but in the emotional and manpower support, which I fulfil to its capacity.)
This guilt made me look for a job, something absolutely menial, so that I could financially earn while working on my writing. Whenever I checked out job websites, I would get this physical reaction of disgust and horror that I would fall sick. My body rebelled at the thought of getting a regular job for financial safety.
But the moment I would dive deep into writing an article or short story, I would feel my heart soar high.
Early this year, I got permission to not feel guilty for not having a regular job instead of working on my creativity.
I am an artist. As an artist, I may need a different mix of stability and flow from other people. I may find that a 9 to 5 job steadies me and leaves me free to create. Or I may find that a 9 to 5 drains me of energy and leaves me unable to create. I must experiment with what works for me.
- Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way
The lessons I learnt — never abandon your dream for the comfort and safety of the known.
Never abandon your dream because it will never abandon you. A little voice in your head will continuously speak to you about your dream until you listen to it.
My voice kept saying — I want to be a writer. I want to write books.
I tried to ignore this voice, but whenever I did that, I became insane. I would be irritated and depressed when thinking of doing anything else but playing with words.
It wasn’t until I gave writing a fair shot that the voice stopped haunting me.
And now I am living my dream.
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