Seriously!
My New Year Resolution for 2017 was to write and publish my book by December 2017.
And I finally achieved that goal in October 2023.
I have always hated New Year Resolutions because of just one reason - it seems as if they don't want to be achieved.
Every year, we make plans for what we want to do in the new year, plans that we make in the hope of changing or improving our lives in some way. And every year, we would fail in most. This would make us think that something is wrong with us, that we are not ____ (good, smart, strong, funny, rich, sexy, etc.) enough to achieve our New Year Resolutions. So, it isn’t hard to imagine what a failure we feel like when December rolls in.
That's how I felt, too, so I stopped setting up New Year Resolutions.
Then I published my non-fiction book for writer, Soul Writer vs. Social Writer, in October 2023, and I realised something.
According to Oxford Dictionary, one of the meanings of the word resolution is solving a problem. And when it comes to life, you don't usually solve a problem and get done with it in a year.
You have to first understand the problem, find its root cause, find possible solution theories, try different experiments to see which theory sticks and keep trying until you find the ingredients and recipe (specific to you) to solve your problem.
That's what I have been doing between Jan 2017 and Oct 2023.Â
I had to understand what writing a book meant for me (literally and emotionally). Then I had to find the root cause of my struggle writing - it turned out, "It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me."Â Understanding and healing myself led to understanding and healing my relationship with my writer self, which led to understanding and healing my relationship with writing. After a couple of years of experimenting, I found my writing process. This was also when I found a book idea waiting for me (unlike the first time when I was forcing the book into materializing). So I put all of them together, and voila! I wrote and published my book.
So, the code I cracked about New Year Resolutions is that it's not about achieving that goal within the year or even the next one. Having a New Year Resolution is about realising you have a problem in your life that you want to solve and not backing away until it's solved, even if the year has ended.
You may not find a solution and achieve your goal by year-end, but you will be a year ahead of where you were last time and a year closer to the finish line. Over time, the experience you have gained will compound and make the journey to your goal smoother and faster. And then you'll achieve your goal.
Also, no matter how much we want to control and dictate our life, Life has its own maturity timetable. So maybe your goal needs more time and nourishment before coming into your life.
Now that 2024 is here, I didn't set New Year Resolutions. Instead, I have set Life Resolutions - dedicating my life to bettering my life. And I am not backing away until I am done.Â