Give Yourself Mental Rest To Enjoy A Better Writing Life.

Becoming A Writer

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Give Yourself Mental Rest To Enjoy A Better Writing Life.

Episode 21 of Becoming A Writer podcast.

Jun 28, 2024

Transcript

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Author Note: This newsletter and podcast is going on a summer break for the whole month of July. We’ll be back to regular publishing of new essays and episodes from August 3rd.

Hello, my writer friends! Rubina here. For our twenty-first conversation, we are going to talk about giving ourselves mental rest to enjoy a better writing life.

One of my frequent complaints in my writing journey's early days was being overwhelmed.

I was overwhelmed with how much information and learning was out there. I was overwhelmed with how much I had to do before, during and after writing. I was overwhelmed by the lightning-speed changes in technology and the Internet. I was overwhelmed feeling everyone was moving ahead and I was left behind. I was overwhelmed by the fact that I was so away from seeing my writing dream come true. And to bring that dream closer to me as soon as possible, I over-stressed, over-searched, over-analysed, and over-worked. During this phase, my head would feel so heavy that it could roll off my shoulders.

This weight of my own expectations was making it harder to write. It was making me wonder if I was truly meant for this line. Adding to this my personal upheavals – recovering from my childhood trauma and a depressive college phase, uncooperative and painful periods, sudden loss of a cousin brother, divorce of my elder brother, gradual loss of my uncle, best friends becoming long-distanced, and a global pandemic – I was in a frequent state of anxiety and insecurity which led to a couple of doctor visits as well.

Eventually came a moment where I simply stopped. I couldn’t carry this weight in and on my head anymore. I needed a break, a complete not-doing-anything, because during this time I realised how important it is to give myself a mental rest.

Mental rest came to me in different forms.

The first was turning off information overload.

One of our time's blessings is access to the Internet - it has opened the whole world to us. But one of the curses of our time is access to the Internet - there's so much happening there that it becomes overwhelming rather quickly.

When I started my writing journey, the Internet helped me understand and learn everything I needed to do. But after a point, I realised that there was no stopping this. The more I searched how to write a book, the more I found hundreds of ways to do it. This eventually led to information overload and made me give up my book before I even got started.

Thankfully, I eventually found my way back to my writing, and we rekindled our friendship. And to make sure our friendship stays intact, I made a promise to my writing.

I promised that researching and learning about writing or different aspects of being a published author would not have precedence over my actual act of writing.

Did you know there are so many types of novel writing structures? There's the Hero's Journey, the Three Act Structure, and the Seven-Point Story Structure, to name a few.

I got so overwhelmed learning about these structures that writing my novel seemed like a task I would never accomplish.

So, I threw everything out and brought my attention back to building a relationship with my work-in-progress. Instead of letting these structures dictate how I should write my novel, I let my subconscious write how it wants to. Before we became writers, we were readers. So, unconsciously, our subconscious knows how a story should flow. All I have to do is get out of the way and let it do its job.

The same goes for learning about marketing my words.

Learning to use social media to market my words was painful and overwhelming. This was because the apps would change their policies by the time I learnt something, and the information I learnt would become outdated. I wasted so much time figuring out social media for marketing purposes that I could use to write my book and have something to market.

Now, I focus on writing my words by believing my writer soul knows how to write and sell a book.

Information overload overwhelmed me so much that I had no time, energy or love left for my book. To save my dream, I shut all of them out, went back to the basics and figure out things, situations, and problems as they pop up.

The second form of mental rest was regulating my consumption of empty internet carbs.

In today’s day and age, you can’t help but consume content that doesn’t provide anything of value other than a few seconds of chuckle and a small shot of cheap dopamine.

We can’t help but get sucked into the endless scroll of the social media apps. I get meme-reels as homework every night from my friends. These 30-second videos are like store-bought french fries – close enough to the real thing but lacking all nutrients and leaving a bland taste in my mouth.

Simply put, most content on the Internet is empty carbs that we’re stuffing in our already exhausted minds. We think that by watching something on social media we are giving ourselves a small break but we are actually hurting our brain. No wonder we are always tired, forgetting things and humming viral but irritating TikTok songs all day long.

And don’t even get me started on the time wasted consuming social media content.

I don’t know what came over me one day, but I checked my consumption analytics on YouTube and Instagram. On an average, I spent two hours on each platform per day. That’s four hours every day! That’s worth one deep work-writing session. This was the final nail in the coffin for me.

Now, the initial thought usually is to completely cut off social media from our lives. But it’s next to impossible these days.

I met a lady some time back, and we hit it off well. Wanting to continue the conversation, this lady, instead of asking me for my number, asked for my Instagram. These social media apps are not just for sharing holiday pictures and relatable memes. They have also become a means of communication, a business card, and a portfolio. It has become a means of getting to know the person without directly engaging with them. And if, like me, you are trying to build an online business, then your online presence on at least one social media app is necessary.

So, we can’t completely eradicate social media from our lives, but we can regulate our usage.

I have unfollowed/unsubscribed all the pages that no longer serve the purpose they did when I initially started consuming their content. I have unfollowed/unsubcribed all the pages that provided low-quality and unsatisfying entertainment. I have deleted the apps from my phone and check Youtube once a week and Instagram once every fifteen days.

Doing these simple changes has given me back my mind and my time and unclogged my writing pipe.

The third form of mental rest was keeping a rested state of mind.

We writers, as well as other creatives, can't work in an agitated state. We may be writing about something born out of agitation, but when we sit down to write the words, we need a calm and free-of-noise mind to frame our thoughts to the best of our capabilities.

We can't be thinking of the dishes that need cleaning or the bills that need paying. We can't be disturbed by all the other things we have to do. We can't be bothered by unwanted presence. We can't be in a rush.

We need to be alone with ourselves and our thoughts.

When I write from an agitated, confused state of mind, what I write makes no sense. Later, heavy editing is required. But when I write solely focused on the piece at hand, my thoughts and words flow in favour of it. Such a piece of writing requires very few edits.

Now, this state of mind is difficult to find and maintain. We are constantly disturbed and distracted by the world around us. There is always something that needs our immediate attention.

I combat this situation with two solutions.

One - I write when I am usually the least disturbed. For me, this is either early morning before anyone wakes up or the post-lunch time when my family is in a siesta.

Two - I do something restful before and after my writing session. Naps, stretching, reading a book, watching an episode or two of Friends, having coffee, taking a long, relaxed drive - this prep and pep me for the writing session.

If I want to be a writer for life, if I want to give my best, if I want to enjoy the process, if I don’t want to burnout in the process, and if I want to enjoy the fruits of my effort, I have to make sure my mind is rested and primed as much as humanly possible.

Well, that's it for today. Next time we meet, we'll talk about taking care of our inner creative well to enjoy a thriving writing life.

Until then, keep writing, my friend.