Feeling Nervous About Your Writing Project? - Lower The Stakes.
How much better when we lower the stakes, when we say, "I'd love to write a novel, and I'll bet I can, one page at a time."
Upcoming episode on Becoming A Writer podcast this Saturday — we are going to talk about how curiosity can help us out in our writing.
How much better when we lower the stakes, when we say, "I'd love to write a novel, and I'll bet I can, one page at a time."
- Julia Cameron
When, for the first time in my writing life, I was planning the following month's content, I felt my skin turn cold.
My aim was to write 5 essays per week, with each day being a different theme, and be ready a month in advance so as to not have any last-minute issues make me fail. But when I saw the 20 potential ideas laid out on my desk, I started feeling jittery.
20 essays per month! I have never done anything like this before. Heck! I have never ever written anything that I know could be read by people online. How am I going to pull this off and also do it month after month?
Thankfully, instead of spiralling in dread and giving up before I even started, my self-compassionate sidestepped in.
Instead of thinking we have to write 20 essays, see it this way - you have 5 themes for the week, so you are essentially only writing 4 essays per theme per month. Furthermore, out of the 4, you need to write one essay right now. When you cross that out from your list, you can think about it and move on to the next. Isn't that much easier?
It turned out to be much easier. Thinking this way calmed me down enough to get to work and get the essays done, that too in record time.
The Four Areas Of Stake
As I make my way through my writing journey, I have come to realise four areas of my writing life are at stake.
Physical Area
This is about how much you can take on your plate at the moment. We indeed overestimate how much we can do in a day and underestimate how much we can do in a year. If you find yourself overwhelmed by your day's to-do list, as often happens with me, lower your stakes by reducing the list to the basic and bare minimum that is enough to make the smallest step toward your writing dreams. Don't, like me, try to write 2-3 essays in a day and then stay burnt out for the next three days. Spread your workload out, delete what you can, delegate what you can, and focus on one thing at a time.
Mental Area
When we overload our plates, we overload our minds as well. We are writers, so thinking about our writing is as habitual and unconscious as breathing. No need to add more pressure to it. Don't be thinking about your next writing project or other errands you need to take care of while you are engaged in the act of writing. When you are in this space, stay here and stay with your writing as much as you can. Getting into the flow of writing is a task; don't make it harder by stressing about other things during that time.
Emotional Area
It is human to have expectations. The problem arises when we take them to heart. As Kristen Neff says in her book Self-Compassion, "Pain is unavoidable; suffering is optional." When it comes to writing, I best feel not to have any expectations. Let your writing show what's going on. Let the writing have its own life instead of expecting a specific result from it. Yes, your writing may not be up to your standards, but that doesn't mean it can't get better. Don't let your expectations, thoughts, limiting beliefs, and self-talk stop you from writing. Let your writing surprise you, and accept whatever it brings with open arms.
Spiritual Area
This is about our self-worth and sense of being. If writing is your purpose, your calling, don't let the grandness of it scare you away. During my initial writing days, I used to obsess over what I was writing and how am I writing. I wanted it to reach the right readers for the right purposes, so I obsessed over writing well. This approach, instead of motivating me, crippled me. What if I wrote something and the readers misunderstood it? What if I used the wrong example or the wrong word? Could I have written it any better? I got so focused on writing what I thought was right for others that I forgot to write what I felt was true to me. Yes, your words have the power to change lives, but first, let them express and change you. The world will become a better place when you write from your true, authentic self.
How Lowering Your Stakes Can Help You And Your Writing Projects?
Lowering the stakes takes the pressure off you, therefore letting creativity flow more freely. When I let myself write from this space, I realise that the world won't end if my first draft isn't perfect.
Lowering the stakes lets you enjoy the writing process. It becomes a journey of discovering yourself and your writing rather than a high-stakes race to perfection.
Lowering the stakes allows you to experiment, take risks, and explore new ideas without the fear of failure looming over you. This freedom has often led me to unexpected and brilliant breakthroughs that I wouldn't have found if I stayed in my nervous state.
Lowering the stakes gives you the permission to be more authentic and vulnerable in your writing. When I write from this authenticity, it often finds genuine readers. It resonates with them, creating a stronger connection between us.
Lowering the stakes helps in overcoming writer's block. When the fear of failure is reduced, you are more likely to overcome mental barriers and keep the creative juices flowing. It's a reminder that writing is a journey, and every step, even the imperfect ones, contributes to your personal and artistic growth.
Lowering the stakes also encourages consistent writing habits. When the goal is more about the process than the end result, it becomes easier to stay on track. Whether it's writing a certain number of words each day or dedicating a specific time to writing, the habit-building aspect becomes less daunting when being perfect isn't the primary focus.
And since you're writing regularly, lowering the stakes steadily improves your writing over time because the emphasis has shifted from the fear of not being good enough to the satisfaction of continuous progress.
Therefore, embracing a low-stakes attitude with your writing cultivates a positive and nurturing environment for your creativity to thrive. It created a space that values the process, celebrates growth, and ultimately leads to a more fulfilling and sustainable writing experience.
How To Lowers The Stakes In Your Writing Projects?
Set realistic goals. I now know that 2 hours of writing a day is enough for me, so I don't go overboard. Of course, there are days when I am sailing smoothly and continue to do so even if I cross the 2-hour mark. But when I know I am spent for the day, I don't force myself to keep writing. It's better to make small progress every day than to try and take high jumps every time.
Shift the focus from goal to process. Imagine you are a footballer. Your goal is to kick the ball into the net. But here's the thing - you can't keep looking at the net to make that possible. You need to keep your eye on the ball, be aware of your surroundings, and make necessary adjustments to make sure the ball stays with you and keeps moving towards the net. The same goes for writing. Finishing the novel may be your goal, but you can't keep looking at that dream to make that happen. It would be best if you focused on what you have in hand - writing the chapter. You keep working here, making necessary adjustments along the way, and inevitably Moving closer to the precious two words - The End. It is the process that helps you reach the goal.
Do your best and forget the rest. I don't know when I picked up this mantra, but I am glad I did. Do the best you can do at the moment and forget about the rest - the result, the reaction, the expectation from self and others. I don't aim to write a masterpiece every time I sit at my desk; I aim to write my best. Some days, it'll be less than usual; some days more. Some days, it'll be crap; some days, it'll blow my mind. The output doesn't matter as long as I am showing up and writing the best I can.
Reframe how you think about failures. Very early on in my online writing journey, I would compare the analytics of my two published essays and try to figure out why the latter had fewer views. I felt I was doing something wrong, and the second essay failed. After a couple of weeks, this essay went viral. The moral of the story is that what you think is a failure may not be so. Maybe it needs a little more time to show you its actual results.
Detach from external validation, even from loved ones. Who doesn't like being praised for their work? We all want people to appreciate our writing and our effort. But we can't hang our worth on what others say about our work. This was a bitter lesson for me. When I was in the final lap of publishing my book Soul Writer vs Social Writer, I was expecting a triumphant running through the ribbon with my family and friends cheering me. I was planning to have a small publication-day party. Instead, I heard crickets. There was no celebration other than me being proud of my hard work. Initially, it broke my heart, but the wise one in me made me see that during the week I published my book, my loved ones were so embroiled in their stressful lives that they weren't even able to take care of themselves. They didn't have the time or energy for me; they were busy surviving. This is when I realised that the validation I wished for was given to me when I was busy writing the book. The joy I felt in that act was the praise I needed. Anything other than that is a bonus.
Celebrate small wins. Don't wait for someone to tell you that you did a good job. If you were able to write a set number of words that make you proud, celebrate it. If you figured out how to set up your author profile on Amazon, celebrate that. If, after months of not writing, you finally dared to pick up the pen again, congratulate yourself. Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. One step forward, one word at a time, you are contributing to your overall progress and, therefore, your writing dreams. You should be proud of yourself.
