Day 4: The Best Piece Of Advice I Was Given About Pleasing Others And Happiness
Follow along my Ship 30 for 30 journey as I learn what it means to be a writer in this digital age.
When I was 20, Fr. Vincent Saldanha gave me an unforgettable piece of advice.
The second year of college was the lowest point in my life. Feeling betrayed by the education system, being ignored by my friends and having troubled times at home, I was depressed.
My English Language professor, Fr. Saldanha, noticed the change in me.
Being the considerate yet strict professor, he sat down and asked, “What’s wrong, Rubina?”
I couldn’t help but pour all my grief, disappointment, and confusion on the table.
I finished my monologue: "I just want to make my mother happy and feel proud of me.”
Fr. Saldanha leaned on the table, removed his glasses and held it in both his hands. Then a moment later, he said,
"Don’t work hard to please others, not even your mother. Work hard to please yourself. Make yourself happy first. Others, who care, will be happy seeing you happy."
That day, my whole life changed. It made complete sense.
Ever since that day, I have thought about my happiness first.
This might seem selfish to some, but for a people-pleaser like me, this is a skill I had to learn and keep revising. If I don’t support this feeling, I’ll end up living in the dark at the cost of keeping others in the light.
Very true. I completely relate to that. If we make our happiness our priority, then everyone around us will adjust themselves accordingly and things will start falling into place.