Rubina’s Bojra by Rubina G Gomes
Becoming A Writer
Comparison Is The Thief Of Your Writing Joy.
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Comparison Is The Thief Of Your Writing Joy.

Episode 17 of Becoming A Writer podcast.

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Hello, my writer friends! Rubina here. For our seventeenth conversation, we are going to talk about why comparison is the thief of your writing joy.

Some years back, I came across a news article. It was about a 13-year-old girl who published her first novel.

During this phase of my life, I was self-critical. So immediately, my brain went into hyper-mode, and I started an avalanche of negative self-talk.

"This 13-year-old girl wrote and published her novel while being in school. And here I am - a 22-year-old English Major graduate who is on a gap year to try her hand at writing novel - and I haven't even written a word. What the hell am I doing with my life?"

I remember spending the whole day with furrowed eyebrows, a gloomy head and a heavy heart. Least to say, I didn't do any writing that day.

Years later, I admitted how silly it was of me to compare myself to this girl. I don't know the circumstances in which this girl found herself, which helped her write her book. I, at 13, was tackling year seven of a family financial crunch, a cranky grandmother, no friends and a reproductive system that simply didn't want to function properly. I had my hands (and my mind) full.

She is running a completely different race than I am. Her reasons and influences for becoming a writer will be completely different from mine. There was no point of base for comparison or competition. And yet, I wasted my day and mood just doing that.

But why do we fall into this trap of comparison? Because that's the lens, we have seen the world through since childhood.

As children, we were compared to our classmates' marks and performance. Competitions set us against our own friends, and then we are judged as to who's the fastest, who's the smartest, who's the best. The ones who came first were always favoured by all – the classmates, the teachers, the staff members. So, to be recognised and appreciated, we had to be good at something. Not only good but the first one and the best one.

Why do we compare ourselves to others? Because we want to survive.

We compare ourselves to others to understand where we are on the hierarchy of human life. We need to know this as it will let us know how accepted we are by our fellow humans. Being accepted means being part of the pack. Being part of the pack means you will not be eaten by the tiger; you're safe.

But once on a creative journey, we stop being part of any comparison race.

The life of a creative is about the creative act itself. As a writer, you are seeing life from a different perspective. To be able to do that, you have to unlearn how you were taught to see the world and then learn how to see it in your unique way. And since you will have a unique way of looking at things, people and situations, there is no way to compare you with anyone. You will stall yourself even before you start if you compare yourself to others.

Not comparing yourself to others is not an easy task to do. When you have spent all your life measuring your worth compared to others, it is not easy to just give up that line of thought. It is not easy to be who you are and be okay with it when all your life you have been told to be, behave, score, earn, work, and live like someone else. It is not easy to live in a world that's society prescribed, and you flow in a different direction.

But that's what creative pursuits like writing teach us and gift us with – that there are different ways one can live their life. We don't need to always stand against someone to succeed and survive. That life is not about comparison but about living your life and your dream as much as possible. 

Know this - No one is ahead of you, and you are not behind. Everyone, including you, is exactly where you're supposed to be.

The day I accepted this fact, I freed myself from unnecessary worry and negativity. I now know that everyone is doing their best with whatever they have. And everyone will reap their benefits when they are destined to.

Now, when I see someone accomplish a writing goal, I celebrate them and encourage them more. And I use the success of my peers as motivation to boost my relationship with my writing.

I don't care anymore who is doing better than me. I only care if I am doing better than I was doing previously.

Well, that's it for today. Next time we meet, we'll talk about how having faith can move your writing mountains.

Until then, keep writing, my friend.


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A Rubina’s Bojra Production

Directed By: Rubina Gauri Gomes

Produced By: Rubina Gauri Gomes, Books She Has Read, And Life Lessons She Has Learnt

Written By: Rubina Gauri Gomes

Host & Voice Talent: Rubina Gauri Gomes

Music by: Happy Lazy Loop by Serge Quadrado (At Adobe Stock)

Audio-Visual Edited By: Rubina Gauri Gomes

Marketed By: Rubina Gauri Gomes

Fueled By: Coffee ☕

Made With Love, For Fellow Writers And Creatives.🤍

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Rubina’s Bojra by Rubina G Gomes
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