Being Gentle With Myself Is The Only Way Forward
A Lesson I Learnt From Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way
Bullying was what I was doing to myself.
Back in 2017, I was struggling to write my first novel. I struggled because I couldn't write my story as I would read someone else's. I hadn't found my writer's mindset yet; therefore, I was a pain in my ass.
When I couldn't hit my daily word count, I would pull myself down for not being disciplined enough.
When I couldn't write beautiful, sewn together sentences, I would call myself not literate enough.
When I couldn't write a character who was more than just cardboard, I would tell myself I had no imagination.
Not being able to do what I set out to do made me feel like a fool.
This negative self-talk made it even harder for me to return to my novel the next day.
But the only solution I found from others was to push myself harder, time block my calendar, and give up on my sleep if I had to.
Thankfully, I have crossed this phase and no longer mentally abuse myself.
But what helped me ground my relationship with the writer in me was trying out the creativity book/course, The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron, earlier this year.
Of the many lessons I learned from this course, there is one critical lesson that I haven't ever heard a creative person say.
That is being gentle with myself.
Julia Cameron says,
"As a creative being, you will be more productive when coaxed than when bullied."
Even before I read this book, I knew this quote was true.
Because, after years of torturing myself to write something useful in August 2021, I let myself out of my own shackles regarding writing and took the leap of faith.
From that day onwards, whenever I write, I don't stand hovering over myself with a hunter anymore. Now I write with my artist self sitting next to me, whispering into my ears where the sentence will lead us next.
When a child is crying for ice cream, scolding her would worsen the situation. But if you were to coax her, make her understand why we can't have today, you might still have a chance to calm her down.
Same, I realise it is for creatives.
Trying to whip myself into reaching my deadline will only make me reach there dead.
But gently motivating myself, and helping myself when I fall off track, helps me get back on track quicker and with renewed energy.
Being gentle with myself makes me enjoy the process of writing. It makes me calmer and happier for the rest of the day.
This, in turn, makes me look forward to my next writing session.
It's not just in my writing but in my exercising, managing errands and obligations, and managing my time. I am now gentle with myself in every aspect of my life because I know I am doing my best, the best this mortal body and mind can tackle in a day.
Being choked in the hustle culture, I now realise that being gentle with myself is the only authentic and quicker way forward.
(I recommend reading The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron which inspired this article.)
