Be Slow And Steady To Have A Fun Writing Life.

Becoming A Writer

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Be Slow And Steady To Have A Fun Writing Life.

Episode 14 of Becoming A Writer podcast.

Rubina G Gomes

May 10, 2024

Transcript

Hello, my writer friends! Rubina here. For our fourteenth conversation, we are going to talk about being slow and steady to have a fun writing life.

When, in 2017, I was starting my first novel, I have to admit I had stupidly unrealistic, high expectations of myself and of writing.

Like everyone else, I thought writing was easy and anyone could do it. Based on the ‘write your book in 30 days,’ ‘write 5000 words in an hour,’ and ‘this plot template will make your novel go viral,’ I assumed that I’d be able to write and publish my novel within a year.

I was so naïve back then. I didn’t know what I didn’t know and thought it would all be a piece of cake. I’ll write my novel, publishers will publish it, and I’d see my book in the bookstore – just like that.

Inevitably, very soon, I realised I was out of my depths. I learnt that the kind of writer I am destined to become requires me to first undo myself as a human – what I have been taught, told and experienced so far in my life – and use that as my raw materials to alchemize what I think and feel into words.

Back then, I wanted to publish my novel to feel proud. To show my family, friends, classmates and teachers that I am different, that I am special, that I am not as dull as I seem. I wanted my published book to validate my existence. And to make that possible, I was emotionally whipping myself to write.

Like we are taught in school, I was trying to force writing down my throat. To follow the rules. To maintain a strict schedule. To get an A+ every time I write. And when I failed, I’d berate myself.

“You call yourself a writer?” “Do you even know English?” “You are average. Always have been, always will be.” “You think you are better than that girl in your class?” “Who is going to read this?” “You’ll fail your mother.” “You are like your father, a good-for-nothing.”

The year was inching towards its end, and I didn’t have one sensible chapter of my novel written. I could see all my fears coming true. “I am not a writer.” “I am not good at anything.” “I’ll always fail.”

As I was waiting for the inevitable 31st December and the confirmation that I am indeed not a writer, Life decided to drop the guillotine blade on me and my family’s head.

We greeted the last day of 2017 with the unexpected death of my cousin brother. A day before New Year. Six days before my 23rd birthday. 25 days before his 25th birthday.

To say that we were in denial would be an understatement. Some of us are still in that phase. But after three months of losing him and feeling lost, I got a sense of urgency and purpose. “Life is too short and I HAVE to make my writing dreams come true.”

Of the many lessons my cousin taught me, one was that slow and steady wins the race.

My cousin brother was an avid gamer. Out of the many games he played, he loved Hitman and Assassin’s Creed. I loved watching him be in the flow of the game. As it often happens, he’d lose a level or fail at a task and would have to play it all over again. But never did I see him get frustrated. He’d just make a quick sound of annoyance and then restart the game. Slowly and steadily, he’d make it through the complete game. Once done, he would restart the game from the beginning, and what took him days, even weeks, to finish now would take him half a day. I would be astonished how he could do that – as if by magic. Only he knew how much effort he had to put in to reach that level of expertise. And it wasn’t much effort to him anyway because he loved every minute of what he was doing, including the successes and the failures.

He made me realise it wasn’t about finishing the game but playing it hoping to win it. Same way, it is not about the published book but the act of writing it in the hope of publishing it.

Now I realise it’s not about rushing and going fast and publishing that book to get the validation I hope for. It’s about having that slow and steady drip of writing that enriches my life – first, inside and then outside.

To make sure I am jogging at a steady pace along my writing journey, I do the following -

I aim low. My aim for every writing session is to do something to move the needle. Not all writing days will be good, but it's a win no matter what.

I stay present at the task at hand. When I sit down to write, I aim to be present with the scene or thought at hand. Researching, planning, editing, and wondering about the next scene happens outside my current writing session. I don't want my focus diverted from what's at hand.

I DND the rest of the world. When I enter my writing session, I turn off my phone, shut my door and go into 'Do Not Disturb' mode. Nothing else matters other than what I am writing or working on at that moment.

I know my limits. My daily writing limit is 2 to 3 hours per day. I don't allow myself to go beyond that. Until, of course, I am struck by creative lightening, which happens once, maybe twice a year. Reinforcing this rule makes sure that I have creative energy for the next day.

I give myself grace and kindness. Writing is less like training young people to join the army and more like encouraging a baby to take their first steps. Whenever I write, I tell myself, "Let's see what we can come up with today." A gentle, positive push is enough to get the writing ball rolling.

I start and end my day on relaxing notes. Currently, I begin my writing day by first chilling with my coffee cup at my writing desk. I am not thinking about what I must do, worrying about the day, or scrolling through my phone. I take my time drinking my coffee and grounding myself to my desk. Then, I pick a song/music for which I feel I am in the mood, let it loop, and start writing. Once done with my writing session, later in the evening, I would sit down with an episode of some show I am currently watching or with the book I am currently reading. Following this routine, I have noticed that my writing has become an easy feat to achieve.

I get my ego out of the way. This is easier said than done, but it is necessary to do it. I can't worry about what the world wants me to write. I can only write what wants to come out of me. I can't worry about the other writers and compare myself to them. I can only compare myself to the writer I was yesterday. I can't worry if the grass is greener on the other side. I can only make sure my grass is watered and taken care of.

Writing is not a competition; it's a journey. We must enjoy it for its own sake and at our own pace.

Well, that's it for today. Next time we meet, we'll talk about how treating your writing like an experiment will get you into writing mode.

Until then, keep writing, my friend.